Doubt-Bouts

“This is why you must now know, and fix in your heart, that the LORD is God in the heavens above and on earth below,
and that there is no other.…”(Deuteronomy 4:33)

Once in a while, it hits me.

The thought comes crashing unexpectedly through my brain and explodes aimlessly within the deepest recesses of my heart. It disturbs. Upsets. Alarms. My convictions are shaken. My vision blurred. My thoughts hazy. The past seems so far. The future so near.

Was my decision to devote my time to preaching instead of building a legal career the right decision? What about the future of my children? How do I pay medical expenses when my wife and I get sick? And how about our dreams? Like a house of our own. Travel. Bigtime investments.

When thoughts like these invade my world during some unguarded moments, my heart shudders. My knees wobble. My throat turns dry.

I call these moments “Doubt-bouts”.

Doubt-bouts usually happen either in the aftermath of a domestic upheaval or prior to the launching of another missionary campaign.

It was just yesterday when it happened again. Preparing to leave for a preaching engagement in Singapore today, the dreaded thought came charging in. It was a good thing that the scripture reading today reminded me of what I ought to do when anxious thoughts turn up.

“This is why you must now know, and fix in your heart,
that the LORD is God in the heavens above and on earth below,
and that there is no other.…”(Deuteronomy 4:33)

I am pretty sure that the Jewish people in the Old Testament encountered many doubt-bouts in their lives. That is probably why God said what He said to them. The verse above comes at the foot of a lengthy narration of what God has done in the history of the Jewish people. It was as if God was enumerating his mighty deeds and brandishing before them His track record in their lives in order to assure them that He is always trustworthy and faithful. Even in the midst of pain. Or anxiety. Or fear.

Yes, even in the midst of doubt-bouts.

Maybe we can learn a thing or two from this.

When things become a bit shaky in your life, I invite you to refer once more to God’s track record.

Has He ever forsaken you?

Sure, He might have allowed some challenges to fall on your lap, but He always made sure you had a chair to sit on, right? He might have allowed you to suffer the consequences of your mistakes, but he always gave you the grace to rectify them. He might have allowed occasional pain to wound your heart, but He always came through with His healing hand and restored your heart in a much better condition prior to the injury.

This morning, in my reflections, I was led to enumerate the many times God came through for me. Countless. Doubtless. Flawless. His track record is impeccable. His faithfulness beyond question. I came out of my prayers assured. Beyond the clouds of doubt, the light shone once more.

God has never failed and will never fail.

My friend, if you are going through a doubt-bout right now, I challenge you to visit God’s track record in your life. Make a list of all his manifold blessings and valuable rescues. And be convinced that His track record is undoubtedly reliable — time and time again.

Reassured by God’s faithfulness,

Bobby Q.

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